What’s Really Stopping You From Attracting Your Dream Partner with Melanie Hersch

Emily Williams

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In love, as in business, you’ve got to be really mindful of who you attract into your world. And unless you take a step back to examine and shift the limiting beliefs you’ve formed around relationships over the years, you might just find yourself settling for less than you deserve (or worse, stuck in a perpetual cycle of bad dates and heartbreaks!).

“Work on your self-esteem. Clear the beliefs that are getting in your way and keeping you stuck and feeling small and fearful. Fulfill yourself first. And then from that place, get out there—not because you need a guy to be happy, not because you’re looking to get something necessarily, but because your cup is full and you’ve got energy to share.” – Melanie Hersch

As you know, I met my husband James online, so I’m a big believer in the power of dating apps. But it didn’t happen by accident. I’m always talking about the importance of mindset when it comes to manifesting your desires, and dating is no different. Do I think it’s possible to manifest your dream partner? YES. But you also have to be willing to do the deep work it takes to get there—and take brave, vulnerable action. 

I may not be on the dating scene anymore, but I know many of you are—so in today’s episode of the I Heart My Life Show, I sat down with dating and relationship coach Melanie Hersch. If you’ve been dating for a while, swiping left and right hoping to make meaningful connections but getting ghosted instead, make sure you’re fully focused for this one. 

Having started her career as a licensed marriage and family therapist, Melanie now helps hundreds of single women to rewire their subconscious limiting beliefs, stop sabotaging themselves in love, and prime themselves for the healthiest relationships possible. 

In this episode, Melanie opens up about the limiting beliefs she had to shift in order to find fulfilment in her own love life, and sheds light on why so many women unknowingly attract unavailable partners and codependent relationships. We also talk about getting clear on what you’re REALLY seeking in a partner (6ft tall with a full head of hair, anyone?) and, in true I Heart My Life fashion, the importance of finding fulfilment in your life first. 

Make sure you stay tuned to the end to hear Melanie’s top tips for optimizing your dating app profiles to attract your perfect match!

In this episode:

  • Melanie’s success story, from therapist to dating coach
  • The limiting beliefs holding you back in your love life 
  • Practical tips and tricks to help you shift limiting beliefs
  • The reason why so many women attract unavailable partners
  • Why finding the perfect partner starts with finding fulfillment in your own life (and how that relates to attracting aligned clients, too!)
  • Questions to ask yourself to rewire your relationship mindset 
  • Maintaining your new beliefs while you’re in a relationship 
  • Dating apps: love ‘em or hate ‘em?
  • Get clear on your perfect partner preferences
  • Tips for your dating app profiles 


“Those beliefs were completely getting in my way and causing me to pull back and act weird and not be authentic. We have to be authentic if we want to cultivate connection.” – Melanie Hersch 

“When we don’t feel good about ourselves, we accept crumbs, and we trust unavailable men.  We just roll out the welcome mat for them. And they come walking right in.” – Melanie Hersch

“Work on your self-esteem. Clear the beliefs that are getting in your way and keeping you stuck and feeling small and fearful. Fulfill yourself first. And then from that place, get out there—not because you need a guy to be happy, not because you’re looking to get something necessarily, but because your cup is full and you’ve got energy to share.” – Melanie Hersch

“We all want organic love. We want to bump into them at the carwash and boom, there’s your person. But the reality is, we’re only meeting a limited amount of people. So I’m a huge fan of getting out there and online dating.” – Melanie Hersch

“You need to be open and take action, because it’s not just going to be hand delivered to you on your doorstep.” – Emily Williams 

“Online dating is like marketing, because you want to put off the people who aren’t right, as well as attract the people who are. We only have so much time, and you want to spend your time on dates with potential amazing partners who want to know who you really are, and be able to connect.” – Emily Williams 

“When we can surrender and really trust that what is showing up is serving us—not go into victim mode, but really try to look for the gifts—life just starts opening up. But as soon as we clench or go, this isn’t the way I wanted it to be, we block ourselves from the life that wants to come to us. We just shut down. So the more open we can be, the more trusting we can be, the more connected we are with source energy and ourselves, the sooner our dreams and beyond our dreams comes forward.” – Melanie Hersch

Links & Resources:

Follow the I Heart My Life Show on Apple Podcasts

Subscribe to the I Heart My Life Show on Spotify

Connect with Melanie:

Visit Her Website

Melanie on Instagram

Connect with Emily:

I Heart My Life Website

I Heart My Life on Instagram

I Heart My Life on Facebook

I Heart My Life on LinkedIn

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Email: info@iheartmylife.com

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Episode Sponsor: I Heart My Life Day Workshop

Searching for love, happiness, and abundance? Sign up for our virtual self-improvement summit, I Heart My Life Day. All day on August 14th, we’re serving up workshops with admired, revered and TRUSTED industry experts, as well as the inspiration, motivation, and practical tools, techniques and takeaways to help you design the life of your dreams. 

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