What to Do to Live Life on Your Own Terms with Tiffany Paul

If the sky was the limit, what’s the highest achievement possible for you? A six-figure salary, a growing family, juicy benefits, the “perfect” body? And before you really think about your answer, let me ask you something: is this the language in which your heart and soul authentically speak to you? Chances are, probably not!

“Sometimes it’s just as simple as ‘do you wanna do this or do you not?’ And sometimes we outgrow our dreams. Sometimes we evolve into different versions of ourselves and that’s normal, right? Everything in nature evolves.” — Tiffany Paul

So here’s the thing: we’ve been conditioned by the phenomenon of ‘milestones’, and as a result, relying on the final outcome for happiness. But these accomplishments are only a fraction of the greater formula for our dream life. Our dream life is really a blend of powerful questioning, redefining success (to our standards), and redirecting our instincts in times of complete disruption. The outcome is never absolute, so why force ourselves to live according to that false truth?

That’s exactly what Tiffany Paul started to ask herself years into living her ‘dream life’. Although her life on paper was seemingly picture-perfect, Tiffany started to feel the inkling that there was more for her life than a big city and a bigger paycheck. Once she started to really question what was gonna bring her happiness and success, Tiffany soon realized she wasn’t living on her own terms. So she went on to launch her own business in the hopes of reclaiming her freedom. Plot twist: nothing went according to plan. But an even bigger plot twist is this: she found the bright side and it was more than she could ever imagine!

If you happen to be caught between living and dreaming (and craving both) I think I have everything you need… inside this amazing IHML Show episode! This week I had fellow podcast host and total spitfire Tiffany Paul on to discuss what it really means to live your dream life. Tiffany will also be detailing her own pivots towards self-development and entrepreneurship, what keeps us present, and how to navigate unexpected circumstances.

I’m so excited to have this exuberant, wise, and radiant human on to talk about similarities (and differences) in our philosophies. Truth be told, there’s no singular definition behind living your dream life. And you know what? That’s what growth is all about. So don’t prolong your transformation any longer. Start changing your life now… by redefining the terms you live by!

In This Episode:

[0:42] Tiffany jumps into the wild ride she’s taken in life (and business) that introduced her to the bright side of personal development.
[3:48] Just some of the major pivots that brought Tiffany to launch her podcast, Break the Matrix (plus her multiple businesses)!
[7:00] Listen to Tiffany break down the six-figure milestone phenomena and what gave her the clarity to gravitate down a different path.
[10:22] This is what Tiffany learned about the “logic” behind our dreams.
[11:39] If you have an inkling there’s something more out there… Tiffany has some first steps for you to try!
[13:40] Here’s the BTS look behind Tiffany’s five years of building her business.
[17:04] What to do when things fall apart— in the wise words of Tiffany!
[19:58] So… what else has Tiffany done to create her dream life? She spills.
[23:32] Tiffany gets real with Emily about the outgrown definition of “living”…
[26:49] This is why Tiffany believes the ‘why’ holds us back from enjoying our journey (and the other half of the life equation).
[32:12] Yes, Tiffany has even more advice on how to create a life that’s better than your dreams!

Quotes:

“I started looking at my life and kind of feeling guilty [because] on paper I have everything that society tells me should make me happy.” —

“What does living the dream look like, and going beyond just achievement, success and money and titles and businesses: what is it really about?” — Tiffany Paul

“As any business owner knows, it takes time to create money and a financially successful business. There’s a lot of investment in foundational structures that may be put into place. And so at that moment where I was like, ‘I’m kind of starting all over again. This doesn’t feel fun.’ It was exciting to launch a business, but I needed something to fuel my soul to feel like I was doing something that I just loved each and every day.” — Tiffany Paul

“If we’re really talking about living the dream, to me that looks like living life on my own terms. And living life on my own terms means doing more of what I love. ” — Tiffany Paul

“So the hardest part about it is that logically, it actually didn’t make any sense why I would want something more. Generally, I liked my job. I was good at it. I had a lot of flexibility. I worked from home. I had great benefits, like all the things. And that’s why it took me so long to come to terms with the fact that your dreams aren’t always logical, your dreams come from the heart, from the soul. It speaks in feelings, not language. So it was just simply a feeling that I could not get rid of. I think that there’s something that keeps coming up for you, a vision and idea, a dream, that’s your soul, that’s your heart. And it often doesn’t make the most logical sense, especially because we do live in a world that tells us living the dream looks like X, Y, Z.” — Tiffany Paul

“Sometimes it’s just as simple as ‘do you wanna do this or do you not?’ And sometimes we outgrow our dreams. Sometimes we evolve into different versions of ourselves and that’s normal, right? Everything in nature evolves.” — Tiffany Paul

“We [humans] love comfort and safety and that’s where we operate from, even subconsciously. So if my dreams are making too much sense, I always like to check in and say, ‘is there a voice that I’m kind of squashing down in the background?’” — Tiffany Paul

“We so easily discount the smallness of the steps. And it doesn’t take anything more than that to put you on a completely different timeline, to introduce you to somebody who’s gonna change your life, to have an opportunity pop up that’s going to really propel you forward. It just takes time, patience, and small steps.” — Tiffany Paul

“We can make all the plans we want and be logical and do the things, and it’s just not a guarantee for success. And the reason I’m trying to emphasize that point is that I’ve done so much of what another business coach says I should do, or a book says I should do, or my entrepreneur friend says I should do. And sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t, business is not linear. If it was so easy, everyone would do it. If it was just ‘here’s the how to guide to build a business’, we would all do it. And so we can learn and be inspired from little bits and pieces of everybody’s journey, but from that we’re gonna be creating our own unique journey, build with things that made logical sense, and things that came intuitively from ourselves. From test and learn, from trial and error, from luck. And it’s just not as logical and linear as I think so many of us want, because we want to know the outcome. We wanna know we’re gonna be okay. We want success and we wanna create our dream life.”

“So there is no failure— just a direction, a redirection, or a lesson.” — Tiffany Paul

“I was no longer willing to sacrifice my life and the here and now in exchange for a final outcome.” — Tiffany Paul

“I thought slowing down so that I can enjoy my life was essential for me in creating a life that I love living.” — Tiffany Paul

“It’s oftentimes a singular definition of what it means to live the dream. And it’s often these external factors of success, a job, money, a house, a certain family, a certain body, and it’s all external. So not only is it based on final outcomes, as we discuss which are not guaranteed, it takes you outta the present moment. I also think it’s just this superficial way to live our lives.” — Tiffany Paul

“So we spend our lives exhausted and berating ourselves about how we’re not doing enough or we’re not giving ourselves credit for all that we have done. I think that it’s just this attachment to the final outcome.” — Tiffany Paul

“If you are really looking to live life on your own terms, which I think so many of us are, we need to ask ourselves, what are those terms? And what does, if, if the sky was the limit and anything was possible, what would I wanna do?” — Tiffany Paul