on creating a life you love

10 Lessons From 10 Years of Marriage: What We Learned


December 6, 2022

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Marriage is sacred.

“There is a difference between spending time together and being present with one another.” – James Williams

It is the purest expression of commitment between two people. Getting married means sharing your joy, your sadness, and your life with someone else. 

It means welcoming that person with open hands and an open heart and forming a family together. 

And most importantly, it means being willing to work together to build something bigger and brighter than you are.

A decade ago I made a decision and said yes to all of this. Or at least, I said, “I do.” I married James and I never looked back.

Today though, he and I will be looking back, as we celebrate our ten-year marriage anniversary –I know, it sounds like a lot, but it truly isn’t–.

Listen in as today James and I share the ten most important lessons we’ve learned during our ten years of marriage. 

From the importance of goofy moments in a marriage (it’s time to embrace the silliness!) to why being your authentic self can help you maintain a healthy relationship, we’ll discuss it all!

In This Episode:

  • [00:00] Introduction
  • [01:10] James shares the story of how we met
  • [06:13] Here’s to silliness!
  • [08:59] Why honestly in a marriage is crucial 
  • [14:59] Here’s why going to bed angry with each other is never a good idea
  • [16:54] You need to be fulfilled to be a good partner
  • [18:58] This isn’t a solo game, you’re a team!
  • [21:43] Always remember: It’s okay to do things differently
  • [29:43] There is a difference between spending time together and being present with one another


“I had moved to London about a year before [James and I met], just completely on a whim, and I didn’t know anyone there, I just felt like I was meant to live there. And obviously, as fate would have it, we met online.” – Emily Williams

“What it was for me, and I don’t think I was conscious about it at the time, but looking back, it was that Emily and I have something in common, and that is that we both kind of go against the grain of what those that knew us would have assumed we do.” – James Williams

“When you first meet someone, obviously, it’s quite surface-level things you’re looking for, you know. someone who you’re attracted to, someone that has similar ideals, right? But I can honestly say, as I am reflecting on the things I love the most about Emily, it’s those times where Emily is completely and utterly vulnerable and open with me, which often looks like the goofy side.” – James Williams

“The first lesson that I want to share is to always be honest about what you need [with your partner].” – Emily Williams

“People say that relationships are all about compromise. And I get what they’re trying to say there, but I do think it’s possible for both of us to live our authentic lives, to be honest, to put ourselves first, and still have an amazing relationship.” –  Emily Williams

“There is a difference between spending time together and being present with one another.” – James Williams

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I started I Heart My Life from my kitchen table in a tiny London apartment in 2013.

After going through a 5-year quarter-life crisis, I discovered the world of personal development and the power of a gratitude journal and finally got clear on my true purpose in life: to help women fall in love with themselves and their lives. I Heart My Life has gone through many transformations over the years, but its mission has always remained the same: we exist to teach you how to create a life that you love.