on creating a life you love

Navigating Love, Growth, and Balance in Relationships with Monika Zands


November 7, 2023

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I Heart My Life is where luxury lifestyle meets wellness. Where personal development intersects with living an elevated life. Where no dream is too big and a champagne is always a good idea. We're so glad you're here.
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In this episode, you’ll meet the incredible Monika Zands. She’s one of my dear friends, an incredible transformational coach and a true life teacher who always has so much wisdom to share. 

She’s one of those humans who really sees you when you’re in her presence, and there’s never anything surface-level about the conversation. 

For that reason, it’s difficult to convey just how beautiful this episode was. My husband James said it was one of his favorites to date (out of 300+)! Even the first few minutes (where we talked about the different levels of relationships) were very powerful. 

Here are some of the topics we covered together…

  • Navigating Relationship Dynamics
  • Balancing Family and Business (and Multiple Businesses)
  • Love Languages and Communication
  • The Power of Awareness
  • Techniques for Staying Grounded

Trust me, it’s full of wisdom and inspiration that will empower you on your own transformational journey. I know you’ll love it…

(If you listened to my episode with Garrain Jones, Monika is the coach he worked with to help him transform his life and start making way more money. Her work is super powerful.)


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Connect with Monika Zands


The Art of Friendship: “Keep your mouth shut, Monica. Be quiet until asked and become really good at listening.”— Monika Zands

Navigating Relationship Dynamics: “One of the things we got really clear of probably about ten years into our marriage, and we’ve been married 22 years, but together 30. So about ten years into our marriage, we started saying, hey, I don’t want to make an assumption that who you’ve always been is who you are today. So there are going to be times when I think you’ll do this, but I’m going to still ask, and I want you to know that I’m simply asking to honor you.”— Monika Zands 

“Balancing Family and Business: ‘Okay, can we breathe?’ Even if it gets a little scary, because we’re spending a lot of the focus time on our daughter because the clock is ticking.”— Monika Zands 

Butterflies and the Beauty of Life: “I said to Jan, what a beautiful reminder and metaphor for life that we every season has its day by day nuances. That one day there were no butterflies, and the very next day there’s thousands of butterflies coming out of their cocoons. And what if we could relate to each other? Like, who’s the you I’m meeting today? And how do I nurture what we need to have a beautiful reflection, like gratitude at the end of a day?”— Monika Zands 

Love Languages and Communication:”We have very different love languages. I’m an Acts of Service love language, and he’s a words of affirmation. So what fills him and has him feel reassured is not the same as what fills me.”— Monika Zands 

The Power of Awareness: “But the awareness knows the need doesn’t need to be met to feel whole.”— Monika Zands 

The Power of Inner Resources: “Everyone was born with their own inner resources to do the work they need to do.”— Monika Zands 

Deeper Sense of Breathing: “When I listen to these recordings, it stops me because the whole premise of these recordings is the distinction of the wanter and the longing and the more and the not enough. And the observer of all is well, and how cute or how sweet or how tender of that girl who’s doing those things. And when I can see both of those sides of me, this beautiful walk between both, actually, it strengthens and softens my nervous system. So I’m not having the natural stress response. I’m actually going into a deeper sense of breathing.”— Monika Zands 

Ping Pong in Relationships: “And what tends to happen is we were modeled by our parents or modeled by whoever did relationship around us that someone’s right and someone’s wrong.”— Monika Zands 

The Power of Personal Transformation: “We are human experiences and expressions and we’re a divine being working through this Earth school.”— Monika Zands 

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I started I Heart My Life from my kitchen table in a tiny London apartment in 2013.

After going through a 5-year quarter-life crisis, I discovered the world of personal development and the power of a gratitude journal and finally got clear on my true purpose in life: to help women fall in love with themselves and their lives. I Heart My Life has gone through many transformations over the years, but its mission has always remained the same: we exist to teach you how to create a life that you love.