How to Handle Haters


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Today I’m spending the day with the VIP ladies from my most recent group program. They’ve come from all over the world for a day of coaching, growing, and taking their lives and businesses to the next level.

I’m so grateful to spend the day surrounded by an amazing group of women who are committed to changing their lives and businesses and living in such a high-vibrational way.

I’ll be sure to share photos soon, but today, I want to talk to you about an opposite subject that’s been on my mind lately: haters.

I remember when I first started my business, I worried about what other people would think. (Other people being my family and friends.) Of course, not everyone got it, but that was ok. I pressed onward.

As I grew and became more visible, I got the odd email in my inbox from a stranger who didn’t resonate with my mission or my journey. Again, I could handle that. Onward I went.

But now, especially in the past few months as I’ve been investing a lot in growing my list, my reach and I Heart My Life in general, I’m realizing that not everyone out there has something nice to say.

Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but sometimes, especially when those opinions are shared in an unsolicited way, it hurts, and I have to find the strength to keep going.

People often ask me why all of my programs start with mindset work. One of the reasons why is because running a business isn’t always easy and you need the mental and emotional strength to keep going – even when it’s obvious that not everyone has your back.

So over the past few months, I’ve had to do my own mindset work to be able to keep going and not let negativity, skepticism or just plain old mean words drag me down.

The truth is, the kindness and support that I’ve received over the past year has far-outweighed the negativity, but as you probably know, for some reason those few negative words stand out more than a plethora of compliments.

My husband James recently went to a Brendon Burchard conference where they were asked to do an exercise on this topic. Brendon told everyone in the audience to stand up if they’ve ever had anyone say something that hurt them. Everyone in the room stood up. Then he said to keep standing if they’d had three people hurt them. Everyone keep standing. Then he said five people – a few in the room sat down. And by the number seven, there were only a few people still standing.

Then he gave the opposite instruction: Stand up if anyone has ever said something nice about you or made you feel loved. Everyone stood and kept standing far past the number seven. Brendon said he’s been in rooms where they even reached over 1,000.

The truth is, there are always going to be people who assume the worst about you or send that mean email. I remember seeing a quote that said “Not everyone is going to love you, most people don’t even love themselves” and that really rang true for me. Most people don’t love themselves (which is a really sad reality) so how can we expect everyone out there to love us and get our message? The reality is that we can’t.

So when someone makes an unkind comment about me or my work, I ask myself whether that’s actually true or based in reality.

Sometimes there’s something to learn, but most of the time, I do my best to let it go and focus on the plethora of kind comments that have come my way.

As you continue to be visible in your life or within your own brand, the haters are going to show up, that’s just how it goes, but you get to decide whether they cripple you or if you find the strength in yourself to keep taking action and doing the work you were born to do.

In difficult times, it’s important to surround yourself with people who get your mission, get you, and have your back – that’s why I’m so passionate about group programs.

We, as powerful women, need to stick together and be kinder. Most of us are doing the best we can. We’re always learning and growing, and we don’t know what’s going on behind close doors or in someone’s life. We need to support one another, not make assumptions, and remember that there are more than enough clients out there for all of us!

And as the old motto goes, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say it at all!

To feeling the love!

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