Recently, I worked with a client (fake name = Mary) who told me during our first session that she was mad at her grandmother and “that whole generation”.
Mary was in the midst of trying to choose from multiple career options when we met, and she felt a ton of pressure to get it right. She wondered whether she should follow her heart and take a job in the competitive music industry or play it safe and find a more stable career. And truthfully, she was even more confused when she thought about the fact that she wanted to have kids in the future and would probably scale back on work in her 30’s anyway.
Most of the time, Mary was grateful that previous generations of women had fought for her rights, but she admitted that in her darkest moments, she wished “they f***ing hadn’t”.
In The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less, Barry Schwartz describes us as a generation of Maximisers: people who have a habit of comparing themselves to others, a tendency towards regret and a constant fear of failure. In fact, Schwartz states, “The availability of many attractive options means there is no longer any excuse for failure.”
So what’s a girl WITH CHOICE to do?!
In my experience, first and foremost, you need to give yourself a break and remember that nothing is set in stone. You can always scale back or make a change if it doesn’t FEEL right.
You also have to recognize that most clarity comes from engagement, not from thinking about your choices. Why not give yourself permission to go for something and give it a shot?
Finally, you must learn to trust yourself and your gut. Personally, I’ve never once regretted following my heart, but I have overthought things many times in my life.
So, what do you need to give yourself permission to do or better yet, not to do? What would make you truly happy? What do you need to engage in? What is your heart saying?
And if you’re struggling with this and really want to make a change, just click here, and we’ll chat!
As always, I’d love to hear from you!