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Emily Williams

Mindset

How To Handle Critics (And Criticism)

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We're a media, education and lifestyle company that supports you in elevating every area of your life. I started IHML in 2014 out of my own desire to love myself and my life. Welcome. We're glad you're here.
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I hope you’re having a great Monday! I’m super excited because I’ll be in Paris two weeks from today! Woo hoo!

Today I want to talk about how to handle the “mean girls” in your life and criticism that may come your way as you build your brand and grow more visible in your industry.

Last week, I received an email from a stranger who decided to offer her criticism on the fact that I often speak very openly about my desires for nice material things and a “5-star” life.

At first, when I received the unsolicited message, I was taken aback, and it upset me.

I started to question whether she had a point and these questions crossed my mind…

Has working on my own money story and mindset pushed me too far in the other direction?

Is there something wrong with wanting a cute striped Kate Spade dress or a gorgeous LV clutch?

Just because I’m a coach and want to help people, does that mean I can’t want designer items?

Are those things not meant for me? (And if not, who in the world are they meant for?)

Do other people (despite the regular complimentary emails I receive) view me in the same way as this woman does?

Ick! Not nice.

So what did I do in this scenario?

Two things…

1. Flipped the switch

As you’ve probably heard me say time and time again, it’s so important as a successful female entrepreneur to have done (and continue to do) your own mindset work for this very reason.

Although this scenario did affect me for a good 30 minutes, it was wasn’t like I ran into the bedroom, threw myself on the bed and bawled for a day as I may have in previous similar moments in my life.

I now have a relatively quick response and the ability to “flip the switch” when negative thoughts come into my mind.

I also reminded myself that by putting my true self out there in the world, it’s giving other women the permission to do the same.

Just because this one person didn’t resonate with me, my desires and my story, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me.

In fact, I feel more myself than I ever have before, and I’m not going to apologize for desiring the finer things in life. Plus, I’ve worked really hard to get here!

2. Learn

One of the other things I’ve discovered over the past year is the you don’t normally learn from your favorite clients or favorite people – you learn from the more challenging ones.

So in this situation, I asked myself what the learning was and what I could take away from it.

I realized that there are still areas in my life where I need to grow stronger, and that I still have some money story issues that work through. I know that doing that work will make me an even more powerful coach and give me the ability to support my clients in an even better way.

This also taught me how important my work truly is. So often as women, we’re taught to go with the flow and squash our truest desires. We taught to buy the shoes but then hide the boxes from our husbands and to tell everyone we got that new shirt on sale.

That’s so not what I want for you, lovely – or me.

I’m proud to tell you that I want to be able to spoil my friends and family, have homes in the US and the UK, be able to outsource A LOT in my business, and buy LV.

What’s so wrong about that?!

So today, I want to encourage you to be YOU. You are gorgeous inside and out and are meant for big things. The world needs you and your work so go and be visible – whatever that means to you. Maybe it’s clothes, maybe it’s charity, maybe it’s saving the planet – you get to decide.

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