How To Handle Fear…


January 18, 2016

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James and I just landed back in London after a month in the US, and three weeks in Vail, Colorado where we spent time skiing, enjoying the snow, and catching up with friends.

Truth be told, I’m not the world’s best skier and there were quite a few moments where I felt out of my comfort zone on top of that mountain. 

(In fact, at the beginning, every part of me wanted to stay inside with my nonfat cappuccino in front of the warm fireplace and some Elizabeth Gilbert.) 

But I knew the more I strapped on those skis and went out there, the better I’d get, and that was what I really wanted. I dreamed of no longer being scared, being able to keep up with James and our friends, and to not feel out of control with each new run.

One day in particular, I told James that I needed to do the same run over and over again until I really felt confident with it. I knew that persistence and repetition was key to getting my confidence up. So that’s what we did, and eventually it became fun. Eventually, I got quicker. Eventually, it was nearly effortless. Eventually I stopped wanting to be somewhere else, and enjoyed it. 

And my friend fear? It stopped trying to run the show.

It’s the same with business, lovely.

I remember when I sent out my first newsletter to 15 friends and family, it didn’t feel easy. I was scared. In fact, I was terrified. I questioned what people would think of me, how they’d react, and if I was even saying anything that they’d care about. 

But I did it anyway. I knew I could do it. I knew I wanted the result it would give me. And I was over my fear running the show. 

During this trip, I did have some time off the slopes to dive into Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic, Needless to say, I fell in love with it.

In her latest book, Gilbert talks about fear in a very relatable and inspiring way. She says she expects fear to be along forevery journey. She expects it to be there for every new step outside the box, every project that stretches her and every moment she’s visible.

But instead of pushing this fear away, she does something that most of us don’t do: she lovingly invites it along for the ride. 

She doesn’t swear at her fear, make it wrong, or question why it’s there – she accepts it.

However, Gilbert goes onto say that although fear is along for the ride, at no point does it get to drive or even touch the radio. 

I love that.

The truth is, lovely, there are always going to be mountains in life and business that try to scare you and stop you from taking action – and they will if you let them. 

In order to conquer your fear and move in the direction of your dreams, you have to focus on your desires and how it will feel when you reach those goals. You have to channel what it is you want. You have to find that confidence to take the driver’s seat – even if it feels uncomfortable at first – and you have to take massive action. 

As I was standing at the top of the mountain (feeling like a total chicken), I tapped into the mindset work that has helped me (and my clients) achieve some really incredible things.

(Specifically, in my mind I said “I’ve created a million dollar business in 18 months. I can do anything. I’m powerful. I’m in control. You will not beat me. I amdoing this”.)

And I told my fear to take the backseat – I was driving.

Maybe you have to treat that voice in your head in a different way. Maybe it responds to another phrase or way of speaking. You know what’s best for you.

Regardless, it’s time to no longer let those mountains beat you, lovely.

You have the power. You have the ability to reach your goals and dreams. You have the ability to fly down the mountain with confidence and excitement.

The strength and courage is inside you so strap on those skis, and go! 

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I started I Heart My Life from my kitchen table in a tiny London apartment in 2013.

After going through a 5-year quarter-life crisis, I discovered the world of personal development and the power of a gratitude journal and finally got clear on my true purpose in life: to help women fall in love with themselves and their lives. I Heart My Life has gone through many transformations over the years, but its mission has always remained the same: we exist to teach you how to create a life that you love.


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