James and I have our eye on a lovely new flat here in London. It’s a stunning place with practically everything we’ve been looking for (gorgeous closet space and all!), and we’ve put in an offer for it (it’s common to have to make an offer in the UK, even if you’re just renting!).
While at a dentist appointment last week, the hygienist and I struck up a conversation about the new flat, so naturally I was excited to chat about it.
To my surprise, her response to my excitement was one of my least favorite phrases – “don’t get your hopes up”.
If you’ve ever heard that phrase from someone, you likely know the sinking and annoying feeling it brings.
And although the person saying it typically means well (after all, London is pretty competitive when it comes to housing!), the underlying message of that phrase is actually quite toxic.
It’s basically like telling someone to expect and prepare for disappointment. It encourages you to keep your hopes and dreams in check, because if you’re dreaming big you’re just going to be let down.
What a depressing perspective, right?!
Considering that our thoughts create our reality, if we’re always preparing ourselves for disappointment, playing it safe and “not getting our hopes up”, then isn’t that the very recipe for a self-fulfilling prophesy?
Our thoughts are powerful, and that’s why I believe it’s so crucial to develop a positive, resilient mindset when it comes to business – and when it comes to everyday life, too.
Will there still be moments of disappointment? Absolutely. But better to believe that amazing things are possible and give your dreams a chance, than to stay stuck in a place of pessimism and fear.
And even if something doesn’t happen as planned, I always believe that everything is happening for the greater good – for you and for me, lovely.
Someone sent me something recently that said, “Have faith, trust and courage as your prayers are manifesting in your life, even if it doesn’t seem obvious just yet. Patience may be needed, but you may rest assured that all will turn out for the highest good.”
I’ve found that to be so true in my own life. There were so many years when I worried about why things didn’t seem to be happening, and constantly fretting about the future. But thankfully, throughout those years of uncertainty I still kept my hopes up, because I knew that there was something better out there for me – something big – even if I couldn’t see it clearly just yet.
In fact, I realized that I had the power within my own mind to focus on what was possible, rather than focus on what I feared was impossible.
I made the decision to do everything I could to visualize what I wanted and to truly believe it would happen. I listened to affirmations every morning in the shower, read tons about mindset and success, wrote myself positive notes, etc. (In fact, it was these small but intentional shifts in my thinking which laid the groundwork for my career as a coach.)
And you know what, lovely? Things were happening all along in my life, even when I feared they weren’t. Everything was truly falling into place, even when I couldn’t see it. The Universe did have my back. I was not alone. I was not without purpose or hope. My dream life was already on its way.
And now, looking back, I’m grateful for those moments – the times when things appeared to “not be working out”. Moments when some might have said I should stop getting my hopes up and just face the disappointment.
Those moments had their purpose, and each of those moments led me to where I am today.
So, lovely, if you too know deep down that you’re meant for something bigger, trust that it’s on its way.
Don’t let anyone tell you your hopes are too high, your dreams are too big, or your goals too lofty.
Know that the things you desire are available to you. It may take time and it’ll certainly take persistence, but trust that there’s a purpose for you and a reason for your journey.