I’m writing this as I’m flying back from gorgeous St. Tropez, and I’m feeling on top of the world.
My theme song right now is Glorious by Macklemore. #cheesy, I know, but it’s true. If you haven’t heard it, click below and then come back to this email…
Why am I feeling so “glorious”? James and I just spent three days with our Relationship and Intimacy Coach Marla Mattenson in the French Riviera. She specializes in working with entrepreneurs and has been a game-changer in our relationship and business.
Before I get into my top takeaways from the retreat, I want to share something really vulnerable with you, so here it goes…
My marriage doesn’t always come first.
The past three years, I’ve been much more focused on building the I Heart My Life brand and spreading the message than anything else.
My relationship often took a back seat, and although there were no serious problems, James and I knew that things could be better.
I often talk about being that stubborn little girl with her arms folded across her chest, and that same little girl was out in full-force with my marriage.
I thought things would naturally get better when we had more time, a bigger team, moved into a new bigger house with separate offices…
But the truth is that James and I didn’t ever plan on working together so how could we possibly know how to navigate that? When we got married, he was in a 9-5 job and had no plans of leaving, and I hadn’t even started IHML.
For those of you who are entrepreneurs, you know that learning how to be an entrepreneur and what that lifestyle (and schedule) looks like is not an overnight thing. It requires experience and learning from someone who’s been there and done it.
And for that reason, James took a stand for us getting that support late last year.
You see, back in November, when we were enrolling clients in the IHML Mastermind, our coach Marla got in touch with me out of the blue to see if we needed a relationship expert within the program.
I said no but that “maybe James and I should talk to her – haha” — direct quote.
I was joking, but within a week, we had a call on the calendar with her to talk about her work and program.
But I wasn’t completely sold…
When Marla came into our life by chance, the honest truth is that James wanted to do this more than I did. It was a no-brainer for him.
My truth? We had the opportunity to go to Necker Island to meet Richard Branson — and that’s what I wanted to do. And both of the significant investments weren’t an option at the time.
But James fought for us. He knew that we had an amazing business and life, but he wanted something more than that. He wanted it to be GLORIOUS.
So we hired Marla, and I’m so grateful we did.
That leads us to today. We’ve been working with our coach for the past seven months, and it’s been truly life-changing in every sense of the word.
And today, I wanted to give you a glimpse into what we’ve learned in the hopes that it inspires you too, lovely.
Here are my top 5 takeaways from the retreat:
1. Being honest is everything. But you need know how to share your honest thoughts and feelings and do it with the desire to connect. It may hurt your partner initially, but without honesty, that trust won’t be there. And it can lead to a build-up of resentment and anger.
2. Even just a few minutes of exclusive attention to your partner (and vice versa) goes a long way.
3. Taking 100% responsibility for your feelings, thoughts and actions is important. (In other words, stop blaming your partner!)
4. We need to stop making ourselves wrong. It’s important to integrate your dark side (for example, my stubborn quality), own it, and use it in a way that’s powerful versus harmful. If we deny it, that only makes it stronger!
5. The moments when you want to run away from your partner, turn to them instead. (This is SO hard as I’m someone who loves my space and will “ice out” James if he upsets me but this is where communication is key.)
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this email and what I’ve shared. Feel free to hit reply. 🙂
Relationships are a huge part of our lives, and they often take the back seat for driven women like us. But we can have both – the glorious business and relationship.
Sending love and light to you, lovely!