Are You Looking for Happiness In the Wrong Place?


August 7, 2021

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health & Wellness
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Emily here. My husband James recently pointed out something that really got me thinking…

That I was spending time and energy looking for worthiness, happiness, and success in the wrong places. 

He was right. 😳

The truth is, it’s an issue many females, especially entrepreneurs, struggle with because highly driven people are often hyper focused on the future or held back by the past. 

There’s an important balance at play here. 

We can learn from our past, but we mustn’t let it hold us back. We can set goals for the future, but we mustn’t neglect the beauty of the present moment. The past, present, and future come together to paint a holistic vision of growth. And, if you think about it, isn’t that what this journey is all about? Each day is a step toward the business you want to run, the person you want to be, or the life you want to live.

We must elevate our consciousness in the present moment to find worthiness and happiness. When we do this, it inherently increases our perspective of our success. It increases our capacity for receiving, opening the door for abundance to flow into our lives. 

The good news is it is possible to change your thought pattern so you can be more present, [NAME]. 

James recently shared some tips on a recent episode of the IHML Show that can help ground you in the present moment and continue to move forward with more consciousness and intentionality. I wanted to share some questions you can ask yourself to initiate this important shift.

So, give yourself a rating 1-10 as you answer each question (10 being very aware and 1 being not aware). Instead of making yourself wrong for your answer or feeling disappointed in yourself, look at it as an opportunity for growth. Let it inspire action forward… 

  1. Being conscious of your thoughts gives you the ability to shape how you respond to problems, regulating and reframing any negative thoughts you may have. Ask yourself, are you actually aware of your internal chatter and how it affects you? Do you proactively guide your self talk so that it’s positive and supportive? How easy do you find it to release or override your negative thinking? 
  2. Being conscious of your feelings and your energy give you important information that you can actually use to make positive adjustments. So ask yourself, do you know how you feel and why you feel that way throughout the day? Make it a priority on your to-do list to check in with yourself each and every day. This will help you be proactive in this type of self-care and do so in a way that serves you in a big way. 
  3. Being conscious of your behaviors helps you move from reaction to response. So, how conscious are you of your behaviors? Are the actions that you’re taking in life purposeful and in alignment with you and where you want to be? Consciousness of your behaviors helps you build positive habits that serve your big vision for your life and business. 
  4. Instead of always focusing on what’s next, ask yourself what you achieved today. Recognizing progress (both big and small) builds an internal sense of worth imperative to sustainable happiness and success. Rather than focusing on all the things that aren’t going well, I encourage you to focus on what is. When you view problems as opportunities for growth, you’ll open up a whole new world of potential and progress. 
  5. What if we paid more attention to what feels aligned with us? Are you aware of your intuition? How connected are you to that? Do you listen to it? We don’t always need to know the why or the how. Sometimes it just needs to feel right. You’ll find more fulfillment from doing what feels right for you than doing what others tell you is the right thing to do. 

The final question I have for you, is this. Do you feel a deep sense of love for yourself? ❤️

Remember, how well you show up for yourself is a reflection of how well you can show up in other areas of your life. It’s an indicator of your capacity for receiving abundance and success. It takes self-love to be brave enough to look at your faults and take appropriate action forward. It takes self love to move through the inevitable challenges along the way. It takes self-love to believe in yourself and your ability to achieve your dreams.

So, I really hope you take some time to ask yourself those questions. 

I invite you to join me on this journey of developing an increased level of consciousness and presence so that you are in more control of your response to life. 

Once you recognize that, nothing gets to throw you off track. 😍

In fact, you’ll feel happier, more worthy, and more successful than ever before. 

P.S You can find even more tips and questions to help you reconnect with yourself and the present moment in James’s episode here. He even walks you through a meditation practice that can help you feel more rooted in the present moment. (Fast forward to 34:38 if you want to jump right to the mediation!)

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I started I Heart My Life from my kitchen table in a tiny London apartment in 2013.

After going through a 5-year quarter-life crisis, I discovered the world of personal development and the power of a gratitude journal and finally got clear on my true purpose in life: to help women fall in love with themselves and their lives. I Heart My Life has gone through many transformations over the years, but its mission has always remained the same: we exist to teach you how to create a life that you love.


We believe that life's too short to be subtle, that everything you want wants you back and in elevating your everyday, whatever that means to you. This is the I Heart My Life Show.