on creating a life you love

How to Move Past Your Comparison Hangover (a Real Life Example)


February 8, 2019

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What happens when we feel jealous? What about that comparison hangover?

The other day, I headed down the jealousy rabbit hole.

You know the one…

Her podcast is amazing. Maybe I need to rethink my whole Show. Maybe redo yesterday’s episode, maybe get James onto more episodes. I should probably be more bubbly. Yes, definitely more bubbly. Do I sound enthusiastic enough? Am I even making sense?

How did she do what she’s doing? How did she get a NYT best seller? How do I do that? What if my book sucks? I’m not sure I like the subtitle font. Gosh, Emily please don’t go there again.

But for real — how did she do this? I want to do what she’s done.

Queue the tears. The anxiety.

The sadness over the comparison.

I don’t want to feel like this. I want to be happy for her. And truthfully, I am. I really am. I just want it for myself too.

That moment could have taken me down. Out. Trust me, I’ve had plenty of those, and I know you have too.

But over the years, I’ve learned it’s not worth it to go there. (After all you’re not going to do the things you want to do from that place of self-loathing victimhood. Let’s call it like it is.)

This time, it only lasted 10 minutes. Maybe 15. (After all, it took awhile to check out her blog + Instagram + research her whole life’s story.)

And in today’s episode of the IHML Show, I’m showing you how I avoided a total meltdown. How I was able to feel my feelings, but shift quickly. It’s all about your bounce-back-ability after all. There’s nothing wrong with jealousy. There’s nothing wrong with those emotions. In fact, as you’ll learn in this episode, there’s a way to shift them and use them for good, not evil.

Curious to know who I was jealous of? Not that it really matters, but I want to share that with you because I feel like you need to know this woman.

The woman whose story almost took me down is the incredible Rachel Hollis. Or to use her seriously-so-cute-and-I-need-to-find-a-way-to-be-this-cute phase “my good pal Rach”.

So what did I do when I felt jealous? I legit thanked her. Thanked her for reminding me what’s possible. Thanked her showing up. Because if you’re seeing the fruits of someone’s labor, if you’re reading their book, if you’re looking at a blog with 94 pages, they showed up big time.

And that deserves some respect. I’m telling you, serious respect. Reverence. And my goodness, love.

So send it their way.

And then shift it back to you. Back to your dreams. Remember they are human, and they’ve done it so you can too. Thank them for reminding you what you really want or maybe for the very first time, giving you clarity.

What a gift that is!

Check out my most recent podcast episode on this very topic. I cover…

  • Step by step how I handle jealousy – how to recognize the rabbit hole and stop yourself from going down it (yet still feel the emotions that are coming up for you)
  • My process for showing gratitude and sending love virtually to that person who evoked the jealousy
  • And just a real honest conversation about comparison and why it happens
  • How to use jealousy to give you clarity

And thanks again to Rachel Hollis who’s a force to be reckoned with. You don’t know me, but I’m blessed to feel that I know you.

Sending love from your good pal Em. (I know, I can’t pull it off.)

About the IHML Show

Tune into the I Heart My Life Show with Success Coach Emily Williams to learn how to design a life you love, manifest more success and wealth, move past fear and blocks and create joy in your life and business. Emily and her world-renowned guests will help you create a life that’s better than your dreams and give you tangible action steps to get there — quickly. She’ll cut through the fluff and share what’s worked for her and the world’s most successful people. She believes that success is an inside job — not just about another strategy. The I Heart My Life Show will help you finally heart your life, experience extraordinary success, make more money, live according to your own desires and give you permission to go after what you really want.



I started I Heart My Life from my kitchen table in a tiny London apartment in 2013.

After going through a 5-year quarter-life crisis, I discovered the world of personal development and the power of a gratitude journal and finally got clear on my true purpose in life: to help women fall in love with themselves and their lives. I Heart My Life has gone through many transformations over the years, but its mission has always remained the same: we exist to teach you how to create a life that you love.

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