I hope you’re having a lovely Monday! Yesterday I had the chance to spend the afternoon with 15 incredible entrepreneurial women at one of London’s best venues for afternoon tea. (For those of you who don’t know, afternoon tea also includes sandwiches, pastries and gorgeous desserts – not just tea! In my opinion, it’s the best thing about the UK!) As luck would have it, the venue was late getting our tables ready, so they upgraded us to the private room (where the Queen dines when she’s there!) complete with complimentary champagne. It was the perfect location and felt very “meant to be” for the event. I hope you had a great weekend as well!
Today I want to talk about waiting for life to get good instead of taking action. One thing I always tell my clients is how important it is to take chances in life and to stretch yourself instead of standing still or letting your “procrastination or doubt people” (as I like to call them) creep in and run the show.
One of my favorite movies is Something’s Gotta Give with Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson. For those of you who don’t know the story, here’s a brief recap: Diane unexpectedly falls in love Jack – a notorious 60-something bachelor – and gets her heart broken when he admits he really isn’t the monogamous type. Thus, she spends about a week crying – make that sobbing – over him.
When her daughter comes to visit during the meltdown, she’s surprised to see her normally stoic mother such an emotional mess. In my opinion, one of the best scenes in the movie is this particular one. Here’s an image of it so you can really visualize the characters as I share their words with you…
Here’s how it goes:
Daughter: Are you crying? What’s wrong?
Mom: I’m in love…Ain’t it great? Seems like I gotta learn how to do this…
Daughter: Oh Mom, I hate this. Now do you get my theory about this? You’ve gotta self-protect.
Mom: You don’t actually buy the stuff you say, do you? You don’t actually think you can out-smart getting hurt?
Daughter: I think it’s worth trying…
Mom: Listen to me. You can’t hide from love for the rest of your life because maybe it won’t work out, because you maybe you’ll become unglued. It’s just not a way to live.
Daughter: You think this is good, what happened to you?
Mom: I let someone in – I had the time of my life…
Daughter: (Pause) I’ve never had the time of my life.
Mom: I know, Baby. And I say this from the deepest part of my heart. What are you waiting for?
I think this is such a great scene because it perfectly displays how all of us have felt at one time or another in terms of the conflict between taking a chance and risking getting hurt or staying still and safe (or so we think!).
When I moved to London, I didn’t know anyone in the city so I decided to try online dating instead of being the random American girl who went up to groups of gorgeous, posh Brits in bars to make friends or find a date. (Weirdo!) Anyway, after about eight months of online dating, I met someone I was absolutely crazy about. To make a long story short, that man did not end up being my husband, but I thought he was going to be and I totally put myself out there with him. When he decided that I wasn’t the right one for him, I spent days, weeks, and probably months being upset over him. Not my finest moment.
However, I never gave up on my quest for love. Everyone told me to give dating a rest instead of trying to take matters into my own hands and to protect my heart instead of continually putting myself out there. But as someone who knew what she wanted, I didn’t listen. And thank goodness I didn’t because a short time later, I met my wonderful husband.
(In case you’re curious, this happens in the movie as well: Diane is an incredible playwright and ends up being inspired to write a brilliant screenplay from this very excruciating time in her life and turns it into an award-winning play. And then, well, I won’t ruin the rest of the movie for you….!)
My point? I actually don’t think that staying still is the “safe” route because it means you aren’t actually living the life you truly want or going for your dreams. Whether you’re not allowing yourself to put your heart on the line relationship-wise, not chasing your career dreams, or stopping yourself from becoming the woman you were born to be, today, I ask you lovingly, what the flip are you waiting for?!
The last time I checked, life goes by far too quickly and we only get one shot at it so, again, what are you waiting for?
This week, I urge you to please, take a step towards the life you truly desire. And in case you don’t know how to do that, here are a few examples that you can tailor accordingly:
- Book a flight to a city you’ve always wanted to visit.
- Ask your boss for that raise that’s so overdue.
- Go on a blind-date.
- Buy that domain name for the company you want to start.
- Sign up for a spinning class.
- Schedule a spa day with a friend to pamper yourself.
- Book an Italian cooking class.
- Sign up for that online course you’ve been salivating over.
- Write one chapter in the book you’ve always wanted to write.
- And of course, if it’s right for you, book a session with a coach like me.
As they say, I guarantee you’ll regret the things you don’t do in life more than those you do do, so keep putting yourself out there and moving forward.
I’m not saying you need to leap off of a building tomorrow or spend $20,000 flying around the world, but at least take that baby step in the right direction. The goal? Stop being so cautious and have faith in your desires instead. (By the way, I’d love to hear what you’re planning to do…!)
You’ve got this!