Do you want to create a lifestyle that nurtures and sustains your whole self and understand how to have it all? You’re surely not the only one.
Have it all. We both know that phrase is thrown around like confetti. But what does it really mean and require?
So many women are beginning to reassess how to achieve their desires without depleting their energy, seeing their relationships suffer or selling their soul to a job that doesn’t actually bring them joy (to name a few).
Now more than ever, we are being encouraged to embrace our multi-faceted, multi-passionate selves…and we’re starting to finally buy into the narrative that success doesn’t mean burning ourselves out in the process or spending years doing something we hate. We truly can have it all.
After years of working with driven women, I’ve seen first-hand that everyone has a different definition of success. And more of our those in community are starting to realize that it’s not enough to be successful in one area and then depleted in another. For example, successful in career or business but have no time for the people that you love. Or seeing your health fail in the process of making more money.
(By the way, this is why, I created the IHML Membership and am taking my company in the direction of holistic success and what it means to create happiness, health, abundance… you know, the good stuff…in all areas of life versus focusing on one area of success. After all, everything is intertwined and equally as important to you living your best life.)
In this blog post, I’m going to be unpacking the key definition of Holistic Success, its integral factors, how you can best serve them, and what you can do to create alignment in ALL areas of life!
I’m also giving you some exercises and journal prompts to do alongside this material.
But first, let’s check-in. I want you to rate the different areas of your life and your level of happiness in them on a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being the highest).
- Mindset/Mental State
Remember, it’s important to recognize that these scores are not an indication of what’s meant for you and possible; they just are what they are at the moment, but they can change. You can have it all.
Got your numbers?
Now, start to believe that you can have it all…and that all of the numbers can be raised higher if you so choose.
Let’s dive into how we do that…
What is Holistic Success?
One of my coaches years ago used to talk about taking a stand for the “AND”. What she meant was having the business AND the thriving relationship. Being financially abundant AND tapped in spiritually.
Although this by no means denotes that success and change happen in every area all at once (as progress and transformation do take time), but I do believe in the concept of having it all. I also know that this requires looking at who you are as a whole and defining success based on what all of you desires and setting goals accordingly (not based on what others tell you to do or what you think you should do).
For example, as someone who’s spent much of her life focused on career and professional achievement, I know stepping into the role of motherhood is going to (and already has) bring about major shifts in my life, and it’s a time for me to reevaluate what I truly want…in all areas.
So I’ve been asking myself what it means to be WHOLE. To be fully me because I’m so much more than just a business owner and there are so many other things that bring me joy in my life.
What about you? How often are you focused on your whole self, versus just a piece of the puzzle or one facet of your life?
It is possible for all of you to come together in service of the whole. And in fact, it’s imperative that that happens to create lasting, sustainable success and joy.
Think about it like this: within the body there’s the skeletal system, nervous system, respiratory system, muscular system, and so on. ALL of those systems, one way or another, interact with the others to allow your body to perform incredible tasks without a second thought. If it weren’t for half the structures in your body, you would be unable to sustain your daily life.
But when one internal system isn’t being cared for like the rest, its efficiency diminishes over time. Eventually, it’ll have a strong toll on how the others perform as well, weakening the whole ecosystem.
Now, I’m sure you’re wondering: How can they ALL prosper without taking precious energy from each other? I’m not here to share the science, but I believe just recognizing that they do work in tandem is super powerful.
It reminds us to have the belief that we can have it all. But in order to do so, you can’t just focus on ONE core system. To show up and perform as your fully authentic self, you must articulate the needs of each part of you.
Once again, this isn’t meant to overwhelm you but to inspire you. Think about it: the body knows what its doing and it doesn’t have to remind the other system to do something. It’s the same with life. You can get into a rhythm and living this way can become second nature.
Holistic by Definition
I want you to experience the breadth of your potential, but that requires you to connect deeper with all the elements that make up who you are so you can become who you want to be.
Holistic, as defined by theories of philosophy in the Oxford dictionary, is “characterized by comprehension of the parts of something as intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole.”
Simply put: you have to consider the ENTIRE entity to fully understand its capabilities. To best support your desires and goals, you cannot neglect any factor of your life you think doesn’t deserve as much attention as the others. Because the truth of the matter is: they’re all deeply intertwined in one way or another. I’m sure we’ve all heard it before; the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. So are you operating with in your whole self or just a part?
The Parts of Holistic Success
As we spoke about above, you can look at the different areas of your life as broken into six pillars: business/career, mindset, spirituality, money, relationships, and health. Or, you can break it down in the way you see here below…
Your career and its success do not entirely define you. In fact, that’s only ONE of many containers that hold your inspiration! I’m sure you enjoy making time for other sources of passion that go beyond the paycheck or business model.
- Seeing and enjoying your loved ones (who truly love your presence, too)
- Trying new hobbies or feeding your passion projects (because we ALL have them)
- Creating time for yourself (because we could all benefit from a little “me” time)
In a recent training in the IHML Membership, our teacher Megan Sumrell share about her personal breakdown (and breakthrough) when she was posed with a simple question: What do you like to do for fun? She realized she didn’t have an answer! So much of her life was about work and her baby. She had forgotten herself.
Maybe that question is a simple one for you to ponder today and a starting point to coming back to what you desire personally in your life. Literally, start to make a list.
And if that’s too challenging, become the observer and notice the personal moments that bring you joy that you want more of and start spending more time there.
Back in the day when I first started IHML, I wrote an article for the Huffington Post all about achievement and how in some ways, I resented those who had come before me.
I shared that although I was so grateful for the opportunities at my fingertips provided to me by the generations of women who had fought for our rights in the decades prior, I was overwhelmed by choice.
Yes, we have more rights, more opportunities, more respect, but at what cost? Once again, I’m so grateful for everything I’ve been given to me, but sometimes it feels like far too much pressure to achieve, and over the years, I’ve found myself burnt out, resentful, overwhelmed, and yearning for a simpler life…
Now, I recognize that’s just one side of the spectrum and pressure can be (and in my case is) self-imposed. (Obviously I wouldn’t want things to be any different or for my rights to be taken away.) Truth be told, my life has always been heavily weighted toward my professional life so, of course, I’m going to feel that way in my darkest moments. However, today, I recognize that I want to shift towards the personal side a bit and find more balance…and I know that I can.
Maybe you’re in the opposite place in that everyone else has come first and your goals and professional desires have fallen by the wayside. In fact, you don’t know what your purpose outside of motherhood is. Or your career has taken a backseat to your partner’s.
Or maybe you haven’t yet discovered your purpose and you’re stuck doing work that doesn’t light you up. You want to make a shift.
Regardless of where you’re at at the moment, things can change. And in order for them to do so, taking a look at the whole self is required.
Ask yourself “If I could do anything (and do it in any way I desire), and I was guaranteed to be successful, I would…”
And really feel into that answer. Would that serve your whole self? And how can you move forward with that desire/goal and still make sure that you’re nurtured in other areas?
How we treat our minds and souls manifests in our body’s reactions. It’s easy to get caught up in the overwhelm or stresses of life, pushing aside our basic needs to focus on what’s pressing us to push forward. Evidently, that proves more harmful than we may realize.
In my book, I talk about my own stresses that manifested as anxiety, upset, appetite fluctuations, even back pain. It’s proven to me that my body is the catalyst for varying responses to what happens in life and business. This correlation has instigated this ongoing thought as to how I can not only better treat my body, but how it communicates to me regarding other needs.
So let me ask: do you listen to YOUR body? If so, what does it tell you?
Letting myself relax and rejuvenate is still an ongoing journey for me, but it’s one I’ve grown to appreciate more than before, especially expecting a little one and creating life. I think it’s imperative we use our physical sensations to guide us toward making more intuitive decisions that bridge the gap between different parts of our whole selves. Here are some questions to ponder:
- Are you resting when your body feels tired or fatigued?
- Are you pushing off meals for the sake of completing a job?
- Are you disregarding your morning routine just to jump into the day’s tasks? (Even though it makes you feel so good when you do it?)
- Are you desperately trying to tackle everything in a day out of fear that you’ll face consequences or criticism if you don’t?
What would be possible for your life if you used your body’s responses as a resource? How would your ability to make aligned decisions alter, knowing you are just capable of everything you desire even when you don’t perfectly execute whatever you’re facing? Would your self-worth drastically change if you gave yourself the space to be human?
Because that’s who you are first- a human. And as a human being, you have essential necessities that need to be listened to, otherwise they get in the way of you showing up fully present and energized. So don’t be afraid to be kind to yourself first and foremost!
I’ve heard countless times my clients tell me they’re experiencing setbacks in their success journey, without awareness of the root cause. When this happens, usually, our first step is to look for answers outside of ourselves (in the next strategy, coach or process). However, most of the time, the answer lies within and our next level requires more of a change of perspective than a new strategy.
It’s imperative to look at how your thoughts are creating your reality. We’re always aligning to something…but is it what you want or don’t want?
And by the way, one of the things that most driven women don’t recognize is a fear of success. We think we’re more afraid of failure, but in actuality, the other side of the spectrum is just as nerve-wracking.
To better understand what may be holding you back, take a look at these questions:
- What if it doesn’t work out?
- Or what if it does? Because that’s just as terrifying, wouldn’t you agree?
- What if no one wants to invest in your services, or buy your products?
- What if you become so unbelievably successful in whatever you aspire to do, and take on a whole new way of life it transcends everything you’ve ever believed about life, business, and money?
I’ve had countless encounters with the detrimental powers of limiting beliefs.
I cannot stress this enough, we all deserve the opportunity to pursue our wildest dreams, create a life that defies our wildest dreams, and align our values with the everyday actions we take to embody what it means to be our whole selves.
What does that look like? It can take on MANY faces and fashions…
Starting our day with a word of intention, to keep us on track. Journaling our inner thoughts and feelings, so we cease to hold them in. Grounding our physical selves in nature or a sacred space because it’s easy to get engrossed in life’s havoc. Talking to our mentors or coaches and receiving the wisdom and guidance to persevere. There are so many ways we nurture the very fabric of our mental well-being, but it’s important that we devote effort to finding what works best for us.
I hope this conversation is helpful, and that I’ve given you some prompts to practice and ways to tune into what you truly want for your life.
After all, you are deserving of everything you desire and you can have it all.
P.S. We cover content like this and support you in IHML Membership every month with creating holistic success. We’ll be opening the doors again soon so make sure to get on the waiting list here.