If I’ve learned anything over the last eight years of money mindset work, it’s that life-changing lessons often come from the most unexpected of places.
A few years ago, while on a spa day in Santa Barbara, I was scrolling through People.com reading all of the celebrity articles. (Note: while staying up to speed with Hollywood isn’t exactly the best practice or ritual in my daily routine, this article is not about judgment, but self-acceptance—so I’m practicing it, and I hope you will, too.)
I came across an update about Kelly Clarkson’s divorce to Brandon Blackstock. In case you don’t know, Kelly is the Season 1 winner of American Idol in the United States. According to Celebsline, as of 2021, she has a net worth of $45 million US dollars. That money comes from album sales, concert earnings, merchandise sales, endorsements, as well as film and television appearances. Her ex-husband Brandon is a high-profile country music manager.
The article that caught my attention had a byline saying, “On July 27 a judge ordered Kelly Clarkson to pay her estranged husband Brandon Blackstock nearly $200,000 a month in spousal and child support”.
Since anything to do with money catches my attention, I started to read.
As I scrolled, I learned that in actuality, when they first got divorced, he requested $436,000 per month ($301,000 in spousal support and $135,000 in child support).
That number definitely caught my eye, and I immediately found myself going into judgment mode.
“What could he possibly need with $436,000 a month?” I questioned.
That’s a lot of money to spend every single month—especially compared to median monthly incomes around the world. And I’ll admit it, I judged him for it. Maybe you’re thinking the same thing right now.
Whatever We Judge, We Block = Money Mindset 101
One of the money mindset concepts I teach my students and clients is that whatever we judge, we block.
If this is a new concept for you, let me explain…
The subconscious mind is a powerful tool that can be used to transform your financial reality. Focusing on a financial goal, envisioning how it will feel to reach that goal, seeing that money in your bank account before it’s physically there — that’s how you change your money blueprint and increase your financial set point. This isn’t magic — yes, the mind is powerful, but it’s also about the law of cause and effect. Once you’ve convinced your mind that something is possible for you, you’ll start taking the action needed to get the results you want (cause and then effect).
If, on the other hand, you believe that there’s something wrong with making a lot of money, (if you have preconceived stereotypes around the level of wealth you want to achieve, or if you think that wanting to make money is greedy), your mind will stop you from reaching that goal. After all, why would you want to be in judgment of yourself?
(If you’re curious about this concept, I have a whole 6-part podcast series about the Dynamic Laws of Prosperity for you to listen to, so you can learn to leverage the law of attraction to welcome more abundance into your life. Click here to listen to Episode 1.)
I’ve been doing this money mindset work and retraining my brain for the last seven years, so I was able to observe myself going into judgment in a simple situation like this. And I knew I wanted to transform that judgment—first into curiosity, and then into acceptance and openness.
I’m going to share the exact exercise I guided myself through to do just that—but before I do, I want you to be clear on one other concept: that money needs a purpose.
So many women I work with say they desire a 7 or 8-figure business, or a certain level of income, but they haven’t actually added up the numbers. And because of that, their mind can’t actually make sense of it.
Think about it — if you say you want to take your company to the $5M mark and from that, take home $1M per year, and yet you don’t have a purpose for that money and have no idea what you’d spend it on, it’s going to be more challenging for you to reach your goal, since you haven’t convinced yourself that it’s required for you to live your best life.
That’s why I’m so adamant that every client who works with us knows the purpose for their money. Which leads me to the money mindset exercise I completed around this concept so I could clear my judgment of Brandon Blackstock (and also revisit how much money I require to live my fullest life).
One of my favorite quotes around money mindset is this one by Raymond Holliwell:
“True desire represents the urge of life, seeking a fuller expression and is kept alive by the continuous expectation of its fulfillment. It brings to us the ways and means for its manifestations. The principle explains no desire is felt until the supply is ready to appear. No mind can be conscious of a need or a desire unless the possibility of its fulfillment already exists.”
For me, that’s what wealth creation is all about—living the fullest version of my life.
As Wallace D Wattles states in The Science of Getting Rich:
“Man cannot live fully in body without good food, comfortable clothing, and warm shelter; and without freedom from excessive toil. Rest and recreation are also necessary to his physical life. He cannot live fully in mind without books and time to study them, without opportunity for travel and observation, or without intellectual companionship. To live fully in mind he must have intellectual recreations, and must surround himself with all the objects of art and beauty he is capable of using and appreciating. To live fully in soul, man must have love; and love is denied expression by poverty.
It is perfectly right that you should desire to be rich; if you are a normal man you cannot help doing so. It is perfectly right that you should give your best attention to the Science of Getting Rich, for it is the noblest and most necessary of all studies. If you neglect this study, you are derelict in your duty to yourself, to God and humanity; for you can render to God and humanity no greater service than to make the most of yourself.”
And making the most of your life requires a certain amount of money, right?
So the other day, after questioning what in the world Brandon Blackstock would spend $436,000 a month on, I decided to do an exercise to see what I would spend that money on. No judgment, no limitations, just free-flowing and seeing what came up.
Oh, and before I share the list, I wanted to mention that I did some digging and found out that one of the reasons Brandon actually wants the money is so that he can keep living at their Montana property, which costs $81,000 a month to run. That factored into my numbers as one of my personal goals is to have an additional property (of that magnitude) in Vail, Colorado.
So here’s what I came up with (please note these are my best estimates and personal expenses, not company).
$81,000 – Vail Property
$81,000 – Everyday Home
$30,000 – London Flat
$20,000 – Wardrobe
$3,000 – Personal Trainer/Gym
$10,000 – Household Staff
$10,000 – Personal Staff
$3,000 – Cars
$15,000 – Travel (Private Plane)
$15,000 – Other Travel
$3,000 – Massages
$3,000 – Other Spa
$5,000 – Tuition
$100,000 – Savings/Investments
$10,000 – Charity/Causes
$150,000 – Taxes
My first thought after doing this was: “Wow, I have an even bigger purpose for money than I thought!”
With that realization, my judgment evaporated. And although I’m still happy to hear that the judge ended up upholding their prenup and Clarkson will be paying him much less than that original amount, I can see the purpose clearly now.
So today, I challenge you to give this money mindset exercise a try.
Who knows, maybe you’ll find you have a purpose for $1M a month!
Or maybe you’re on the opposite side of the spectrum, and you have a hard time finding a purpose for much money. If that’s the case, look at that. Become the observer, as I did.
Are you judging wealth? Are you not allowing yourself to go there because you don’t want to face disappointment if it doesn’t happen? (I hear that a lot!) But if you don’t even allow yourself to envision it, it definitely won’t happen, because you’ll block it. So why not practice openness and release the judgment of yourself?
Remember, it doesn’t matter what you spend it on, as long as it’s a true desire. More for more’s sake is not what we’re after here.
Next, I want you to ask yourself how you’d get there. What business would you run? What job would you have? Tune into your inner voice, and listen for the answer.
One other important step: if you find yourself estimating and putting together a big-picture list like I did, the next step is to get really granular with these numbers and actually do the research to figure out how much it would cost to run your dream house, hire a full-time staff of personal chefs and trainers, treat yourself to monthly spa treatments and so on.
Our minds love specifics, and when you know how much your desires really cost, your mind can make way more sense of it—and the purpose for the money gets stronger and you take more action in the direction of your vision.
Finally, come back to the present.
Maybe you know that your current role or business doesn’t have the capacity to bring in millions and thus pay you $436,000 a month. That’s okay… you can get there in time. For now, focus on your next uplevel. For example, maybe right now, you’re taking home $20,000 a month, and you want to double that. Write out the specific purpose for that money, and feel into that goal.
All in all, I absolutely loved doing this exercise. I found it so exciting to envision exactly what I would do with that level of income—and felt instantly energized to pursue my next-level money goals.
Since you’ve stuck with me to the end, here’s one final aha moment: $436,000 a month is only $5M a year. It’s not billions. There are people taking home $5M a year. And when we see that it’s possible for other people, we shift into a state of possibility for ourselves, too.
So thank you Brandon Blackstock, I owe you one.
P.S. If you want to join our tribe of ambitious women going for their dreams, check out the IHML Membership.
Another life-changing option is our I Heart Money Course. You can find that here.